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PS I hope your teachers don't all write to ask me where I purchased this!

Funny Poems Secondary Schools Autumn Poems

An email arrived upon my screen,

     But what a big surprise!

It was an offer for some little pills: 

    'Great for increasing size!'                


Now usually it’s slimming pills,

     But this was something new.

'I’ll send for these,' I told myself.

     'I’ll start with just a few.'


The postman came, the pills came too,

     And these went in my barrow.

With rotted compost out I went

     With breakfast for my marrow.


'Try these my dear.  See how it goes.

      Eat up.  Let’s see you grow.

There’s lots of growing to be done

     Before that autumn show.'


The next day after breakfast, well -

     I looked at him again

My goodness, he had really grown!

     I’d no reason to complain.


His little shape had changed so much

     It was hard to recognize

The little marrow that I’d grown

     And hoped to win a prize.


'These pills are really great,' I thought.

      'I’ll try the same again.'

Next morning he had grown so large

     He filled my window pane.


The show day came and off we set

     With marrow on the lorry.

The enormous load it had to bear -

     Well - it made me feel quite sorry!


The judge declared: 'I’ve never seen

     Another quite that size!' -

But, thanks to all my little pills,

     My marrow won first prize!



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Secondary Schools


By Josie Whitehead

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By Josie Whitehead